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Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!!

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JAMA • You've been JAMABONED! Moderator Posts: 248 Likes: 402 Gender: Male	Post by JAMA on Mar 3, 2017 7:14:24 GMT Psyche! The last story didn't end. IT WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!! I, Jama, World Class slayer of zombies ends up KILLING ALL OF THE ZOMBIES on planet Earth!!! Civilization has been restored, thanks to me. The Earth is being repopulated, also thanks to me, but I’m only impregnating the hot chicks!!! But I’ll be honest…. Something was missing!!! I was bored. I needed adventure. I needed excitement. Jama needed to bone hot chicks…. in distress!!!! Only one solution….. DUNG BEETLE. Dung Beetle: “Beep Boop” Which is robot for “What Jama?” Me: Turn into a time machine and let’s go back in time and kill zombies…. Again!!!! Me again: BECAUSE I SAID SO!!! So Dung B. transforms into a time machine and we go back to the beginning of the ZA!!! Once I arrive, I’m balls deep in ZOMBIES!!! ONLY ONE THING TO DO!!! SUPER MEGA ULTRA ALLSTAR SAMURAI SWORD POWER BOOOONEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!! Boner slice, boner slice, boner slice, boner slice, boner slice!!!! Again!!! Again!!! Again!!! YEEEEAAAAAHHH! I just killed like, 74,283 zombies, give or take a few dozen. It’s not like I need to keep track. Duh! More zombies coming!!! Dung Beetle, give me a light bitch!!! “Beeep Boop Beeep” which is robot for, “Hells yes Jama!” SUPER FART FLAME THROWER!!!! Fart scorch, fart scorch, fart scorch!!! I just roasted like, I dunno, 167,587 zombies like nothing. And this time, there was nothing left of them but ashes!!! OH YEAH!! ME: Dung Beetle, scan for hot chicks in distress!!! BEEP BOOP BEEEEEEEE….. Which is robot for “I’ve got nothing” WHAT THE FAAAAACK!?!?!?! NO HOT CHICKS!?!?!? OH NO!!! Past Jama must be boning them already!!!! Me: Dung Beetle, call past Jama and find out where he’s at…. Past Jama: Hello? Me: Hey, no time to explain. It’s me, future Jama. I, you, we…. Killed all the zombies and then we get bored, so I traveled back in time with Dung... Past Jama: Dung Beetle, you’re a time traveling robot?!?!?!DAFUQ?!?!? Past Dung Beetle: Beeep booop bop (Which is robot for “You know it bitch!”) Me: Listen! I’m here to bone hot chicks too, man! Save me some! Past Jama: No problem Future Jama. But you gotta plow through like, I don’t know, 678,962 zombies to get here. I’d help, but I’m only concerned with myself!!! Me: I know!! I’m you asshole!! Hmmmm…. Only one thing for me to do now… Awesome video game style martial arts moves!!!! Jumping uppercut to the face, like a million times!!!! RYUKEN!!! RYUKEN!!! RYUKEN!!! RYUKEN!!! RYUKEN!!! RYUKEN!!! Oh yeah!!! I just obliterated all the zombies in my way, maybe a few mil. Time to bone some hot chicks!!! But first, I gotta meet the only other man on the planet as awesome as me…. Past Jama!! Past Jama: Future Jama! Are you ready to bone the hottest, wildest, chicks you’ve ever laid eyes on??? Me: You mean, Again? Because I'm awesome!!! Past Jama: Fuck yeah!!! Oh hey…. Did you know… We could like, totally jerk each other off and it wouldn’t be weird or anything because we’re like, you know, technically the same dude… Long awkward silence……… Me: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING BRO!!!! High Five!!! More me: But first, let’s kill all of these zombies!!! Past Jama: Yeah, which will give us more time for boning hot chicks…. And that other thing too. Because we're that awesome! Me: Let’s do this!!! Double boner punch, double boner punch!!! Boner clothesline!!! Boner clothesline!!! Past Jama: Hey Future Jama! Let’s both spin around and make a boner shredder and cut through these zombies like butter!!! Me: FUCK YEAH!!!!! BONER SHREDDER OF DEATH!!!! Yeah, we killed something like 2,987,128 zombies in like 10 minutes!!! We are so AWESOME Past Jama!!! Let’s bone these chicks, then kill all of the zombies, then when we get bored, we’ll travel back in time AGAIN and kill zombies with Past Past Jama! Past Jama: NO GUILT CIRCLE JERK!!!! ME: THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! Autobots roll out!!!
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Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 3, 2017 7:14:24 GMT Edited by JAMA Mar 3, 2017 7:18:16 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Deleted • Posts: 0 Likes:	Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 8:14:52 GMT What the fuck did I just read?
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Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 3, 2017 8:14:52 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

dee • BAN TIMEZONES Forager Posts: 357 Likes: 240 Gender: Male	Post by dee on Mar 3, 2017 23:34:45 GMT I'm pretty sure there is a time paradox thing happening here that doc brown would be a little worried about. But let's overlook that little issue for the quality writing and subtext cleverly hidden in the narrative. I see this as an in depth observation of the deep routed concern middle class Americans have with the social and anti social aspects of US Politics. I.e. Trumpism and his boner policies on world culture. This literature is worthy of Bob Dylan status.
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Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 3, 2017 23:34:45 GMT via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

JAMA • You've been JAMABONED! Moderator Posts: 248 Likes: 402 Gender: Male	Post by JAMA on Mar 4, 2017 6:23:30 GMT Mar 3, 2017 23:34:45 GMT dee said: I'm pretty sure there is a time paradox thing happening here that doc brown would be a little worried about. But let's overlook that little issue for the quality writing and subtext cleverly hidden in the narrative. I see this as an in depth observation of the deep routed concern middle class Americans have with the social and anti social aspects of US Politics. I.e. Trumpism and his boner policies on world culture. This literature is worthy of Bob Dylan status. Fuck Doc Brown. My time travel adventures intentionally break all of the laws of physics!

Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 4, 2017 6:23:30 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

dee • BAN TIMEZONES Forager Posts: 357 Likes: 240 Gender: Male	Post by dee on Mar 4, 2017 9:06:24 GMT Mar 4, 2017 6:23:30 GMT JAMA said: Mar 3, 2017 23:34:45 GMT dee said: I'm pretty sure there is a time paradox thing happening here that doc brown would be a little worried about. But let's overlook that little issue for the quality writing and subtext cleverly hidden in the narrative. I see this as an in depth observation of the deep routed concern middle class Americans have with the social and anti social aspects of US Politics. I.e. Trumpism and his boner policies on world culture. This literature is worthy of Bob Dylan status. Fuck Doc Brown. My time travel adventures intentionally break all of the laws of physics! Ok. But Clara Clayton won't be happy.

Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 4, 2017 9:06:24 GMT via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

page • Bribe Me For Admin Powers Administrator Posts: 214 Likes: 272 Gender: Male	Post by page on Mar 5, 2017 5:01:40 GMT JAMA WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! Also, that was AWESOME! NO guilt circle jerk. LMAO
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Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 5, 2017 5:01:40 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

JAMA • You've been JAMABONED! Moderator Posts: 248 Likes: 402 Gender: Male	Post by JAMA on Mar 5, 2017 6:18:42 GMT Mar 5, 2017 5:01:40 GMT page said: JAMA WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! I ask myself this question every day. The crappy thing is that even more deranged people have written worse and they made money doing it. When is it going to be my time!?!?! WHEN?!?!?
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Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 5, 2017 6:18:42 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

thehainted • Senior goat exorcist Walker Survivor Posts: 163 Likes: 169 Gender: Male	Post by thehainted on Mar 6, 2017 18:16:25 GMT DUDE....you seriously need to make this into one of those little golden books for kids and have a gnarly artist do all the art like old 70s rape van art. Fucking A keep up this story!

Jama: Time Traveling Zombie Destroyer!!! Posted Mar 6, 2017 18:16:25 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

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