Rick awoke that night in a cold sweat as he looked over and saw Michonne sleeping peacefully right beside him. But as much as he loved her he couldn't help but wonder just what it might be like if Negan were in her place. "Hot diggity dog!" Rick could hear in his head. "Easy peasy lemon squeezy!" Oh god Rick thought now. He is so fucking sexy, I can't help it!

Rick thought about his other love, Daryl, but as the ZA had worn on, Daryl had become more and more pungent, until he could hardly stand him any more. And that unwashed testicle scent was the worst, being t-bagged just wasn't what it used to be. But Negan, Oh man! He knew how to tend to his hygiene. His breathe was always fresh when he was in Rick's face, threatening to kill him, and he was sure that he used the same shampoo that Lori had. He longed to get a glimpse of him in the raw. Rick soon was lost in imagining being taken from behind by a naked Negan.

Michonne then opened her eyes and smiled once she saw Rick. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Just thinking about being fucked by Negan," Rick answered when he quickly realized what he had just said when Michonne shot him an awkward look. "I mean I was just thinking about making some bacon, you want some?" Rick asked as he got out of bed.

"No thanks," Michonne replied while wondering what the hell was going on with Rick now.

"Gonna take a shower now," Rick mentioned as he headed into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Rick locks the door, and then proceeds to practice his daily twerk routine, as he wants to aspire to be like his role model Nikki Minaj. He first puts up a picture of her on the wall then prays to her with his ass. He shakes it gracefully at her and says "amen" when he's finished. After the twerk ritual he then gets some of Michonne's lipstick, and imagines Negan naked in the mirror, then Rick says to Negan as he puts on the lipstick slowly, "would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. Michonne hears this through the door and says,"is everything ok in there hunny? Rick is startled as he was imagining Negan and tells Michonne "uhhhhhh yeah i'm just you know.. fapping to Negan, *cough cough* I mean trimming my pubes!"

Michonne laughed and plopped a can of fetid sardines on the counter-top. "You forgot the errl baby" she said, peeling back the metal lid. The smell of sardines wafted into Rick's nose, prompting him to smile. "I need to get me some of that in here" he said, rubbing the shiny oil on his beard. Michonne hiked a pant leg and showed Rick her leg, a jungle of thick black hairs. "Shave me" she ordered. Rick took a razor and scraped the blade along her legs, the oil acting as a lubricant.

Soon her legs were shaven clean and Rick ran a hand over her skin, the slippery oil making his Python cocked and ready. Michonne looked at the python and said cheekily "You need to holster that thing cowboy in my slot. Unknown to them, Eugene was watching from behind the window, checking his bullet making factory to see if it was in production. It was making plenty of bullets. He watched as Rick took his python and slid it in Michonne's holster, the sound of the bullet firing in the leathery slot silenced.


"What are you looking at, faggot?" Eugene suddenly heard from behind as he quickly turned his head and saw a strange guy he hadn't seen before.

"Oh I'm just checking this here window for any damage," Eugene replied nervously as he backed away now. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, faggot," the strange guy replied. "I'm looking for some faggot named Daryl, I want him to suck my dick and T-bag my face!"

In an instant Eugene could feel his bullet factory powering up again as he suddenly said. "I can take you to Daryl but you have to let me watch you guys okay?"

"Sure thing, Faggot!" The guy replied. "You can call me Raffi by the way!"

Eugene smiled and said "Thank god you aren't a mod you fag lord"


Eugene then hears with his super sonic mullet hearing Tara's boobs bouncing as she walked from a mile away. Eugene then transforms into "Super Professor Sex Lord Saiyan" and flys over to Taras location. Eugene takes his dick out and boxes Taras boobs with his dick like boxing bags, this charges up Eugenes dick to maximum jizz power level over 9000 and unleashes a Jizz Kamehameha all over Tara. And then in M Night Shyamalan twist fashion. Tara turns straight.

Since Tara was now straight, she got a sudden urge to discover the cawk. Wiping the jizz out of her eyes, she looked Eugene up and down. "Hey, Professer" she said, "How about you schooling me a little with that bullet factory of yours?" Eugene was suddenly very nervous, because he'd never actually had a girl want to tour his factory in person before. Sure there had been the family dog that went nuts for peanut butter, and the cat had the softest fur you could imagine, and Lynn, the neighbor lady before the turn had parrots, but they tended to bite, but now he was faced with a real live GIRL! He took a moment to think what he should do, and after much consideration said 'I am sorry. I have a new friend, Raffi, that I have made a prior commitment too.I must show him the way to Daryl to get some tea bags.' So Tara thought to herself, 'Hmmm, Eugene, Daryl and Raffi? well 3 heads are better than one!' so she told Eugene, that sounded like a plan and she'd go along with them. So they went back to where Raffi was watching Rick and Michonne through the bathroom window, and after they all stopped to admire the way Michonne cleaned Rick's python, the 3 of them locked arms and proceeded to skip down the street in search of Daryl. Poor Tara, her boobs bounced so much that Eugene and Raffi each had to hold one down for her before she blacked both her eyes. Such good friends.


They came to Gabe's church and peered in the windows to see Father Gabriel wearing a speedo while strutting around in knee high hooker boots. Eugene suddenly had to tend his bullet factory again as he began shooting blanks outside the church when Gabriel stopped once he heard the noise and peeked out the door.

"Father, are we doing it?" Came a voice from inside the church.

"Yes Tobin!" Gabriel answered then he spotted Eugene, Tara, and some new guy he'd never seen before. "Can I help you?"

Eugene smiled bashfully and offered Father Gabriel a crumpled dollar bill. "Would you dance for me, father?"

Gabriel laughed. "No!"

"Who is this faggot in the hooker boots?" Raffi then asked prompting Tara to wonder as well.

"Father Gabriel the viagra is wearing off!" Tobin called to him. "I need my big black daddy cawk!"


"Those aren't hooker boots!" the good Father exclaimed. "They are just regular boots for when it's snowing."
But Raffi called bullshit and shut that shit down. You see, Raffi was a boot expert, because of all the booty calls he'd been on.
"Daaaaaaddddddyyyy" called Tobin from the other room. "You gotta hurry! You know I need you so bad now that my Queen Bitch Carol is gone!"
Well Tara wanted to check out what viagra did and Eugene wanted to watch, and Raffi, well he kept looking at the way the speedo clung to Father Gabe's package. So they asked Gabe if they could all get together and hold a prayer circle, because, you know, they felt the need for the spirit to move them.

Gabe said no and stormed back into his church slamming the door behind him. Eugene and Tara frowned. "Fuck you!" Raffi shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Well back to looking for Daryl!" Eugene announced as they began walking away with Tara's tits bouncing and flying in every direction smacking Eugene and Raffi in the face.

"This almost makes me wanna be straight!" Raffi said.

"Quiet!" Eugene hushed him as they suddenly came upon a dog house. "Daryl is sleeping!"

"Wake up faggot!" Raffi shouted as he rushed over and banged on the dog house awakening poor Daryl.

Daryl rubbed his eyes as he emerged from the doghouse. "What do you want?" He asked as the toxic smell of piss, body odor, shit, and lord knows what else wafted into the air choking Tara and Eugene's lungs.

"Suck my dick faggot!" Raffi ordered Daryl as he pulled down his pants and whipped out his little cawk hidden among a giant man bush.

"I can't see it," Daryl responded scratching his fleas then began searching through the large bush of pubic hair in his face.

"Fine I'll suck yours then!" Raffi said as he started to go for Daryl's zipper while Eugene began bouncing up and down with a crazed grin spread across his face. "Bullets are being made!"

"Stop," Daryl said to Raffi as he moved his hand away from his crotch. "I know this isn't what you want. I'm not even your favorite character."

"Fuck you faggot!" Raffi yelled. "Shane's gone and it's your fault for stealing Rick's affections from him, he couldn't handle losing both Lori and Rick."

"Look" Darly said. "I know a guy that you would prefer over me any day. His name is Aaron. I'll take you to him. And he has a boyfriend that knows how to cook too."
Well this all sounded too good to be true to Raffi. He'd heard about how hot this guy Aaron was, and how everybody liked to fap to him, and besides, he was getting hungry. Since he couldn't even boil water, much less cook, and the ZA didn't have any drive-thrus it was sometimes hard to eat. Fast food had a whole new meaning now, it was the ones you couldn't catch. He paused for a moment to wistfully long for a BK comb #1 with a large diet coke, before the 4 set off to find Aaron. They made Daryl walk downwind from them for obvious reasons.